Just Over A Week

Its been just over a week now since he had to leave. It all happened so fast I dont think I really understood the gravity of what was going on. A tragedy, a need for him, a plane flight, a short good bye. They called for him and the next day he was gone. Ive developed this overwhelming guilt for my selfishness. I was sad that our summer was cut short and that I would miss him when he was the one having to be strong and support his family while dealing with his own mourning. In a few hours he had to uproot and change his way of life, so selfless.
The fact that he's really gone is starting to set in for me. I know this is where he needs to be, but I still cant deny how much I would pay or sacrifice just to spend another night with him. It will be a few more months though, so I guess my sacrifice is time. At night before I sleep I cry on my pillow and thank God for the time we did have, for the memories we made and for the bond that we built. Before the summer, my prayers were requests. Asking for plans to follow through, for him to really love me as much as I had fallen for him. Now my prayers are all thanks because of how much my heart swelled with love for him. And even with him gone I do beleive I grow to care for him a little more each day. I wonder how it will be when I finally do get to see him again, to get to have a conversation face to face, not from behind and electronic device. Atleast we have that. Its been just over a week. Soon, just over a month, then 2. Until then my love, until then.